Film Review

Sherlock Holmes | Film Review

The Game Is Afoot, And It's The Best Game In Town
A review of Sherlock Holmes
by Kenneth Holm
Dorkgasm Senior Staff Writer

     When I originally heard that they were making a new movie based upon my favorite literary detective of all time, I initially had a mild spot of trepidation. I had seen most, if not all, of the previous incarnations and felt they all lacked something crucial. Then, I heard two crucial bits of news; Guy Ritchie was directing the movie and Robert Downey Jr. was playing Sherlock Holmes. My initial fears began to solidify at this point. Here was a director known for his London crime exploits and a Yankee playing a Brit! However as trailers and on-set pictures began to leak out, my mind began to convince me that this could be a joyous experience. Fortunately, I was not let down.

The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day | Film Review

Everything Else Is Coffeehouse Bullshit
A review of The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day
by Kenneth Holm
Dorkgasm Senior Staff Writer

Whup-ass fajitas. The OK Corral. Sack-o-matic. Ding, dong! “The plan”. Mike Tyson. These are only a few things that I will be laughing about for some time after seeing The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day. As any Saints fan will tell you, there are certain catch phrases from the first movie that, when said, will let you know that you are part of something special.

District 9 | Film Review

Size Matter's Not
By
Michael C. Riedlinger
Editor-In-Chief

Shot on a Red One digital camera on a modest budget in the country of South Africa, District 9 is not the first film that comes to mind when you start thinking summer blockbuster or high-brow cinema, but it is both of these things. Directed by Johannesburg native Neill Blomkamp (in his major film debut behind the camera), District 9 manages to be thought provoking and exciting all at the same time. Michael Bay supporters take note: This is what the rest of us are talking about when we say that you can blow stuff up and still have a plot!

Thicker than Water: The Vampire Diaries Part 1 | Film Review

Family Ties
By
Michael C. Riedlinger
Editor-In-Chief

Phil Messerer is a jack of all trades when it comes to film. He wrote, directed, shot and edited Thicker than Water: The Vampire Diaries Part 1 all on his own, and on a shoestring budget. Such is the life of the modern indie filmmaker, and he does most of those jobs admirably. The story is basically a rehash of the cult-classic werewolf film Ginger Snaps, looking at family relationships through the lens of vampires this time instead of big fuzzy beasties. When the goth-girl’s perfect twin sister dies, she comes back as a vampire and her family tries to be supportive. We should all be so lucky to have families like that.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince | Film Review

The Doppelganger Chronicles
By
Michael C. Riedlinger
Editor-In-Chief

When Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince came out as a book, thousands of people lined up for hours to get a copy. Many fans dropped off the internet for a few days to avoid spoilers while reading it, and it turned out to be one of the most successful publications of our age, both critically and financially. Yet, here we are a few years later, and the film fails to bring in more than $200 million on it’s opening weekend, leaving the mindless fodder that is Transformers 2 as reigning king of the summer box-office. Why is this happening to a film that, based on the book sales, should be a “sure thing”?

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen | Film Review

Big Balls
By
Michael C. Riedlinger
Editor-In-Chief

            Let’s face it, no one expected Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen to be the next Citizen Kane. Nope, most of the people who went in to see it wanted big, bad ass robots blowing shit up, and that’s what they got. So, going in expecting the same lazy-assed trype Michael Bay usually puts out, why was I still disappointed in this movie?

Terminator: Salvation | Film Review

Square Peg Meets Round Hole
By
Michael C. Riedlinger
Editor-In-Chief

            Christian Bale really shouldn’t have yelled at the cinematographer on Terminator Salvation.  Instead, he should have been screaming at his agent for getting him involved in such a convoluted mess in the first place.  He would have been well within his rights to blow up at the screenwriters (the team that brought us Terminator 3 and Catwoman) for turning in something so bad the Sci-Fi channel wouldn’t run it. 

Fast & Furious | Film Review



Tying Up Loose Ends
By
Michael C. Riedlinger
Editor-In-Chief


    When Justin Lin picked up the Fast & Furious franchise a few years back, I was hopeful.  The series is mindlessly dumb, no doubt about that, but what could a smart and savvy director do with it?  It was somewhat disappointing that he cast the very white Lucas Black in a movie about street racers in Tokyo, but Tokyo Drift was a smarter film than its predecessors were.  The latest installment, simply titled Fast & Furious, gains only a few more IQ points, but they’re enough to make a noticeable improvement.

Monsters Vs. Aliens | Film Review

Blast From the Past
By
Michael C. Riedlinger
Editor-In-Chief

The state of science fiction, as I complained about in my review of Knowing, is abysmal.  Hollywood keeps churning out crap they hope seems smart or cool, while failing miserably because they keep forgetting that the best science fiction happens when it actually is smart and cool.  The subtext is usually built in, and the more overt you get, either through hyperbole or through techno-babble, the less effective science fiction really is.  Monsters vs. Aliens is a science fiction film first, and a children’s film second.

Knowing | Film Review


It's Half the Battle
By

Michael C. Riedlinger
Editor-In-Chief

          Alex Proyas is one strange director.  He has a propensity to make dystopian cinema that revels in the dark side of humanity.  From the fires of The Crow to the technological terror of I, Robot, Proyas has given us visions of a future that differ from our own only in the degree to which we’ve screwed up our world.  Typically, his films end with the hero defeating the larger menace behind our suffering through perseverance, heroically outsmarting the villain at the last minute.  This time, however, Proyas has tried a different approach.
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