Krod Mandoon and The Flaming Sword of Fire | Television Review



More like "Krod Mandoon and the Flaccid Phallus of Phucktard"
By
J. Sternberg
Staff Writer


FUCKING CHRIST THAT WAS AWFUL!!!!


          Ahem... Now that that's out of the way, let's get down to bidness... Never in my life have I witnessed an epic fail like Krod Macfuckity fucknugget and fucknuggetry of idiot land. Its a shame really, with World of Warcraft having over 11 million players, the relatively recent success of all manners of fantasy film, and general dork acceptance at an all time high, the time was perfect for the lampooning of all things epic. Obviously someone somewhere missed the memo, Dorks hate Soul Plane, Meet The Spartans and Awful Movie (parts 1-436) and the tards that do enjoy this type of lobotomizing limp dick idiocy (they do exist right?) will be so bored by any attempt at real satire, the setting and the fact that the hot chick ain't all that hot, that they won't stick around long enough for the gay jokes, or the fart jokes.


          In what can only be considered a clusterfuck of epic proportions, someone let not one, but two hacks from Meet The Spartans out of their cages to create the definition of a festering turd. Everything about this show reeks of awfulness. The cast is terrible. The humor is stuck in the fourth grade (kids mature faster these days...). The actual show looks like they hired a camera guy from Chuck E. Cheese to film it. Somehow, it even sounds bad! FUCK! How hard could that be with a budget ?
Before anyone jumps to the shows defense claiming that I just hate lowbrow humor, I'd challenge them to watch the show first. I have no problem with the style of Reno 911, South Park, or most of the Adult Swim lineup, and I love a good spoof, which is exactly why I hate shit like this. Documentaries on human injustice are supposed to make you hate the dickheads on screen, not sitcoms!


          In the end there is no redeeming value whatsoever to this program, and I can't recommend it for anything other than a drinking game that involves taking a shot every time a joke doesn't make you laugh. Yep, alcohol poisoning sounds like a lot of fun compared to this crap.


I give Krod Mandoon and The obnoxiously long title 1 giant "Fuck You In the Neck!" (out of 5)


Comments

Ahh... Sweet. Commenting is working for me now.

Kim and I both loved this series. It was never meant to be a satire of the fantasy genre. It was a parody of a certain group of shows. This one in particular:

http://www.hulu.com/legend-of-the-seeker

Watch just a few episodes of that POS, and you'll find Krod hilarious. I remember the first time Kim walked in on me watching it. The conversation went something like...

"Why is there a hot chick in BDSM gear with a pain stick?"

"For absolutely no good reason."

"Uhm, okay..."

Another guilty pleasure of mine along with Legend of the Seeker is Cleopatra 2525. Firefly fans - prepare to cry. I've seen that entire series and laughed my ass off. So bad, it's good. Any series that starts with the premise of a young stripper going in for breast implants, having a complication, getting cryogenically frozen, and waking up over 500 years later when machines rule the Earth... Believe you me - it gets worse from there.

In short, parodies like Krod are almost always going to fail (at least on TV - it'll do fine on DVD) because they can't manage to get the message out to people who know the material the creators are poking fun at. That's a crying shame. But thanks to the interwebs, that situation is changing.

Mate, I don't know why you

Mate, I don't know why you haven't been snapped up by Wired yet...