Dorkgasm Gonzo Is God

The Rain in Spain
By
Michael C. Riedlinger
Editor-In-Chief

            I suppose I might have more to complain about the latest installment of Walden Media’s Narnia series, but I really don’t. So they skip a book or two in the chronology, who cares? I haven’t actually read them! I was more of a Tolkien reader as a kid. So the story is really a Jesus allegory, didn’t we already know that? No, the one element of The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian that bugged me was that it felt like the cast of villains from Elizabeth: The Golden Age had been kidnapped and implanted in New Zealand.

            Like I said, I could have worse complaints, but I don’t. This second film in the series is actually more enjoyable than the first. Director Andrew Adamson seems more relaxed in this outing, taking us on a fantasy joy ride without worrying that we will get lost along the way. The film opens with the birth of a male heir to Lord Miraz (Sergio Castellitto, Paris, Je T’aime), uncle of the titular Prince Caspian (Ben Barnes, Stardust). This turns out to be bad news for the prince, whose tutor wakes him just in time to escape assassination by Miraz’s men. The elderly mentor gives the prince a magical horn and tells him to run away to the forest where the guards are least likely to follow. Once there, Caspian is accosted by dwarves and blows the horn, summoning the “kings and queens of old”, or as we know them, the Pevensie children.

            The four kids arrive in Narnia from their hum-drum life in England to discover that one year in our world seems to supplant 1300 in Narnia. Prince Caspian’s people, the Telmarine, have conquered the Narnians and treat them as extinct mythological beings. It is up to the children to track down Caspian and help him retake his throne and unite all the people and creatures under one banner of love. Okay, that might be an oversimplification, but you get the idea. The story itself seems like a foregone conclusion; of course the good Spaniard, I mean Telmarine, will win his throne back. This is a fantasy story after all! No, the development of the characters and their interactions with one another are what make this movie worth watching.

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            The bad Spaniards, there I go again, sorry… The bad Telmarine all come across as the kind of villains we all love to hate. They don’t see what they do as bad, per se, but necessary. They are backstabbers on the level of last summer’s pirates and they all know it. Fighting for the side of good is one the most entertaining anthropomorphs to come along since Puss from the Shrek movies. Eddie Izzard plays Reepicheep, the daring mouse swordsman. His witty banter adds a much-needed infusion of levity in this children’s movie. Why label it a children’s movie? Because it is needlessly bloodless.

            Prince Caspian has some extraordinary visuals. The battles here rival those of Braveheart, with Minotaurs and mice clashing with humans on horseback to great effect. I suppose I do have a secondary complaint in that the film tries to show us the horror of war without showing us anything horrifying. These are swords, not cauterizing lightsabers, so I really had a hard time justifying the lack of bloodshed amid all the stabbing, slashing and beheading. The kids triumph heroically, but they do so in a way that sends more of a “violence is okay” message than any iteration of Grand Theft Auto. That aside, the scenes really are rather exciting, and the performances from all involved remain solid throughout.

            The first film left me feeling like I wanted more from both the cast and the story. This film shows that all players have grown in skill. The child actors all exhibit an appropriate range of emotion, and the supporting cast, villains and heroes alike, all fill their roles well. Tilda Swinton’s White Witch and Warwick Davis’s Nikabrik both do a great job of creating nightmares here, and Ben Barnes is easily the next Orlando Bloom. The Telmarine, who turn out to be descended from Spanish pirates by the way, are the most enjoyable villains I’ve seen in a long time, and the actors who play them are all a treat to watch. As far as blockbuster films go, this rare gem actually has heart and half a brain.